Tech has made staying connected easy, and staying polite harder. If you’ve ever been left on read, passive-aggressively “thumbs upped,” or Zoom-muted mid-sentence, you’re not alone.
When you’re halfway through a conversation, and your phone lights up, I bet you switch off and don’t listen properly.
Even if your phone isn’t lighting up and it’s out of sight, it feels like we’re in a state of restrained preoccupation – or in plain terms – we’re somewhere else.
Is it rude, though? Or has tech merely normalized interruptions?
Ghosting. Calendar cruelty. Cameras off in meetings. AI-polished feedback. Sending a Slack message, then immediately walking away from your desk.
And these are just at the office. Yes, I’m guilty as charged (and so are you).
Brain’s buffering. Please wait.
But let’s just circle back a little and think about why.
First and foremost, the “always on” culture is to blame. I don’t know about you, but I'm often in “alert overload” mode.
Like a cat about to pounce on a notification. Apart from nobody’s actually messaging.
So, if our social presence has been eroded, and real-time courtesy has crumbled, can we take an accusatory stance and say it’s rude?
Well, yes and no. Pause a second and think of one person's digital habits that have antagonized you, and then someone who is well-meaning but just off.
Chaotic group chat energy
I’ll give you mine. Antagonized: Group chat etiquette. Some of the WhatsApp groups I belong to run on two extremes.
Long rants and chats from some members that hijack what was once a breezy vibe.
Then there are others who just react with emojis. And I know they’re not busy, they just can’t be arsed.
From soul to screenshot
For the well-meaning camp, I’d say sending long messages at 2 a.m. because your mind was ablaze with a thought, then going into retreat the next day.
Sure, the person may have been pickled, and as long as it’s harmless, I don’t class it as rude.
A recently single friend of mine has joined Tinder for the first time. In our conversations, his favorite subject is screenshots of chats he’s had with his matches.
While we used to talk about which Wes Anderson film is the best—Rushmore, no question – or even play Spotify ping-pong (I play one, you play one), now we’ve been reduced to simply showing content – this is what I said, and this is what she said.
So, I don’t think everyone’s rude. Most people have just become dehumanized. But if you're not able to separate these two things, then that's fine. I guess I’ll just figure it out myself then.
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