Selena Gomez adding you to her “Close Friends” is as real as the Jim Carrey clone conspiracy

The week has felt especially long, with social media users’ critical thinking skills falling short. Many believe that Hollywood cloned Jim Carrey in some Illuminati-esque plot to cover up The Truman Show star’s death.

Welcome back to “Idiots of the Internet.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, this is a weekly roundup of all the stupid things I’ve encountered online.

As a person who is chronically online, I believe I’m qualified to deliver some of the most painstakingly stupid moments captured and subsequently uploaded to the internet.

Being afflicted with the unrelenting disease that is idiocy myself, I may even be overqualified.

So, come with me on a journey to the dumbest recesses of the World Wide Web, where idiots aren’t born, but made.

XOXO

Your leader,

The Supreme Idiot

“We all wear masks…metaphorically speaking”

"Did You Miss Me? Guess Not" – Jim Carrey in The Mask

Jim Carrey, the actor behind The Mask and The Truman Show, made a rare appearance at the Cesar Awards in Paris held in late February.

Social media users were not only shocked that Carrey actually showed up but also alarmed by his appearance.

Carrey looked different. His face, while looking youthful, just seemed off.

This sparked various online conspiracies, with social media users asserting that he wasn’t actually the actor, but a clone manufactured by Hollywood.

Users searched for details in videos and images to confirm that the person who attended the Cesar Awards wasn’t Carrey.

Then amateur internet detectives uncovered clues that seemed to blow the case wide open.

Carrey’s eye colour appeared to change from brown to green, and despite being left-handed, the Ace Ventura star was seen signing autographs with his right hand.

“BINGO! We’ve got him,” social media users said triumphantly.

Then, a well-known special effects make-up artist, Alexis Stone, added fuel to the fire by taking credit for the stunt via Instagram, claiming to have stood in for Carrey that night.

But users quickly realized that Stone wasn’t telling the full truth, and that their “proof” appeared to be AI-generated.

This little setback didn’t stop users from spreading their conspiracy theories online, making the situation convoluted and murky.

UNTIL…Carrey’s publicist told the popular tabloid TMZ that he was at the awards ceremony.

Even the general delegate of the Cesar Awards told Variety that Carrey’s appearance was meticulously planned and that he had practiced his French for months before his speech, which was given at the event that night.

So, for all the people who genuinely believed that Carrey had been cloned…just know, I fear you.

Selena Gomez didn’t add you to her close friends, sorry

Looks like Gomez’s “Secret Friends” group isn’t so exclusive after all.

Pop artist Selena Gomez added her Instagram followers to a “Secret Friends” list, which made it look like she’d included a select few lucky people to see the inner workings of her life.

However, it looks like her over 400 million followers were added to this list automatically to promote her husband’s podcast, Friends Keep Secrets.

Without activating their critical thinking skills, which may be underdeveloped in her teenage fans, Gomez’s crazed Instagram followers decided to announce it on social media.

“Oh, no big deal, I’m just on Selena Gomez’s Secret Friends story,” said one unknowing X user.

​​“I’M ON SELENA GOMEZ’S SECRET FRIENDS LIST ON INSTAGRAM,” said another excited X user.

“Ya’ll, I’m on Selena Gomez’s secret friends story,” said an X user triumphantly.

Little did they know that this isn’t an exclusive group, and Gomez seems to just be posting whatever content she deems appropriate on her “Secret Friends” story.

NO FAIR.

I wanted to see some celebrity crash-outs or snippets of unreleased projects…

Sam Altman is making mistakes, and then making them twice

"There's an old saying in Tennessee... fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again” – George W. Bush.

The leader of OpenAI and, subsequently, the father of AI slop, Sam Altman, has lit the match that has ignited fury amongst his employees.

But before we delve into this, we have to go back in time.

The US’s very threatening Department of War presented Anthropic, the makers of Claude, with a contract that would allow the department to use its AI while also requiring it to drop its guardrails.

Anthropic refused, prompting President Donald Trump to order the federal government to stop using the company’s tech entirely.

For context, Anthropic’s technology was reportedly used by the US during the Iran strikes, despite Trump’s demand to stop using Claude that day.

Just a few hours after the Anthropic/Department of War spat, Altman jumped at the chance to partner with the big bad department.

However, OpenAI employees weren’t pleased and were especially worried after Altman said that they couldn’t control how the department uses the company’s tools.

“So maybe you think the Iran strike was good and the Venezuela invasion was bad…you don’t get to weigh in on that,” said Altman, according to a meeting transcript reviewed by CNBC.

You think Altman might’ve learned his lesson from the Department of War deal, after he claimed that the backlash made him feel really sad.

“To try so hard to do the right thing and get so absolutely like, personally crushed for it – and I know this is happening to all of you too, so I feel terrible for subjecting you all to this – is really painful,” as per the WSJ.

Spoiler alert! He hasn’t learned anything, as he is reportedly flirting with the idea of signing a contract with another military organization, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).

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