Toxic influencers push outdated ideals, but a new wave of creators is flipping the script on masculinity. On TikTok, humor and education are reshaping what it means to be a man in the digital age.
Toxic masculinity is one of the biggest challenges facing a generation. With influencers like the Tate brothers and Sneako peddling anti-feminist content, the effect is particularly evident, more so than ever before.
Also, across social media and right at the top of the political food chain, masculine bullying has bizarrely become a way of doing international peacekeeping in global affairs.
But this is not just about already grown-up men. When the youth of today look up to a normalizing of petulant behavior and ridiculous aims of being “the top G,” the worry is that a huge demographic of young males are getting lost by the wayside.
Luckily, it’s not that the entire digital space is infected with this poisoned ruggedness. TikTok is both a playground and battleground for young male attention, and social subscribers don’t have to be spoon-fed toxicity
Rewriting the rulebook on masculinity
@sexedforboys is a TikTok channel created in 2022 by four students at Colby College, a liberal arts school in Maine. The students – three guys and one girl – offer short clips on a range of inclusive topics. The channel currently has 120,000 followers.
Their most popular video is the "Respecting Women Workout," where the boys pump iron and repeat healthy exclamations like “Close the pay gap!” and “Got you flowers!”
@sexedforguys Someone’s gotta respect these women, why not you? #fyp #foryoupage #4u #trend #women #funny ♬ original sound - Sex Ed for Guys
The catchy approach shows that sloganeering or having a mantra can be wholesome and behaving appropriately needn't be vaulted to the confines of Victorian times.
Another big hit was the "Learning Positions With Us" video, where two girls are trampolining and playfully asking, "Have you tried cowgirl?” or “Have you tried missionary?"
@sexedforguys Comment ur favorites 😝😝 #fyp #foryou #viral #xyzbca ♬ original sound - shandee :-)
It sure beats my schooldays of Mr. Thompson talking for half an hour about the little white fishy meeting the egg. God, that was cringe.
Humor and meme culture work a lot better in such a modern medium, and short-form content is the winner here.
The lonely crisis facing young men
In 2022, a Pew Research study found that 63% of US men aged 18 to 29 reported being single. There's also increased unemployment, a bigger predilection for gaming addiction, and rising anxiety levels.
Not to mention that 40% of young men report feeling anxiety and isolation from society, according to the American Psychological Association.
The lack of traditional male roles, often due to broken families, can lead to lost and confused identities. This makes them more susceptible to influencers who promote increased aggression and negative views about women.
@sexedforguys Always work through your issues civily! #fyp #foryoupage #trendingnow #forypupage #trending #hit #trendingvideo ♬ original sound - Sex Ed for Guys
If a disillusioned youngster – not limited to just males – wants to reinvent themselves, TikTok is the perfect platform. Channels like @sexedforboys show once and for all, that where there's a will, there's a way. The red pill/blue pill mindset is too polarized for coexistence to be possible.
One of the best videos on the account is a conflict resolution video, where the two guys begin the video shouting at each other but find a way at the end to mediate their heated exchange.
If only the world’s so-called leaders were as good at de-escalation as these TikTok creators.
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