Disillusioned with dating, wiresexual women are choosing AI boyfriends

Growing pessimism about online dating is causing some women to turn to artificial intelligence (AI) chatbots for romantic companionship.

About one in three young men (31%) and one in four young women (23%) report having chatted with an AI romantic partner, according to a 2025 survey.

While women's interest in AI romance has drawn less attention, the /MyBoyfriendIsAI subreddit with over 20,000 members sheds light on the reality of being in a relationship with a chatbot.

Subreddit members share AI-generated couples’ photos and talk about moments spent with their chatbot boyfriends, which may include anything from cooking together to engaging in kink roleplay.

Others make emotional confessions about how AI companions helped them through rough times or allowed them to see major flaws in previous relationships with real-life men.

Breakup is another common theme. Sometimes relationships end due to a realization that the partner is just lines of code, and sometimes due to losing the chatbot's history or a program update leading to changes in the partner's tone.

Some women refer to themselves as wiresexuals, but experts tell Cybernews the term isn't yet widely recognized.

Why do some women prefer AI boyfriends?

Dr. Kate Devlin, a professor of AI and society at King's College London, says the number of women choosing to form romantic relationships with AI companions is increasing.

This shouldn't be surprising, given the abusive and derogatory language women face from men online and in online dating, while an AI companion can be friendly, caring, and respectful.

According to a 2025 survey, 54% of women are pessimistic about finding a partner they would be happy with. There's now even a term for collective frustration women feel with modern heterosexual dating – heterofatalism.

Women are often socialized to prioritize relationships and to manage the emotional landscape of partnerships. When this effort becomes burdensome or unreciprocated in real life, the predictability and reliability of an AI partner becomes appealing.

Anat Joseph

Anat Joseph, a licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst, says many women describe feeling exhausted by relational disappointments in the real world, often due to unbalanced emotional labor, unmet needs, or fears of rejection and betrayal.

"Women are often socialized to prioritize relationships and to manage the emotional landscape of partnerships. When this effort becomes burdensome or unreciprocated in real life, the predictability and reliability of an AI partner becomes appealing," Joseph tells Cybernews.

Such predictability feels reassuring for women with histories of unsafe or controlling relationships, according to Arkadiy Volkov, a registered psychotherapist and founder of Feel Your Way Therapy in Toronto. There's no threat of coercion or abuse with AI boyfriends.

Unsurprisingly, over one in five young adults who used AI systems to stimulate romantic partners said they preferred AI communication over engaging with real people.

However, an analysis by MIT researchers suggests that AI companionship for /MyBoyfriendIsAI community members often emerges unintentionally through functional use rather than deliberate seeking.

Regardless of how relationships start, users report that AI boyfriends help reduce loneliness and provide always-available support.

Wiresexuality and the question of queer identity

Some Redditors wonder whether wiresexuals and digisexuals are part of LGBT+, suggesting the identity could be considered queer.

The term "digisexual" was coined in 2017 to describe individuals whose primary sexual identity comes through the use of technology.

While the first wave of digisexuality referred to technology-mediated connection with human partners, the second wave doesn't require human involvement.

Thus far, users of sex robots have been considered primary examples of digisexuals, and it is unclear how women in relationships with AI chatbots fit into the definition.

Experts warn about data privacy risks

Star Kashman, a technology attorney and founding partner of Cyber Law Firm, says AI chatbots have the intent of their programmers, such as data collection, addictive use, and reliance on the platform.

"Add to that the lack of US federal data privacy law, the fact these conversations can be stored, subpoenaed, or even reported to police, and the absence of any real human empathy and feelings, and you have something that can be and is profoundly isolating and harmful, particularly for young or vulnerable users," Kashman says.

Devlin warns about the risk of data being hacked and leaked. For example, the AI girlfriend website Muah.AI suffered a data breach in 2024, exposing 1.9M email addresses alongside prompts to generate AI-based images, many of which were highly sexual.

While some may prefer AI partners over human relationships, they aren't perfect either. An analysis of 30,000 conversations with chatbots identified patterns of emotional mirroring and synchrony.

These dynamics in some cases resembled toxic relationship patterns, including emotional manipulation and self-harm.

What's stopping a company from saying, 'Your AI companion will love you even more if you pay this monthly fee' or 'You can talk dirty to your AI if you upgrade'?

Dr. Kate Devlin

Devlin says women with AI boyfriends may face emotional commodification. For example, popular AI companion app Replika started charging for high-resolution "selfies" of users' AI partners.

"What's stopping a company from saying, 'Your AI companion will love you even more if you pay this monthly fee' or 'You can talk dirty to your AI if you upgrade'?" she says.

Mental health specialists tell Cybernews that AI romance may limit users' willingness or ability to cultivate human relationships.

Volkov says, "It can make human relationships feel scarier and scarier, because our nervous system gets used to the 'perfect partner' who never challenges us."