Experiment: AI explains why my ex ghosted me

I just tried an AI algorithm that analyzed my entire love story and gave me the verdict. But how accurate was it?

With so many human interactions now happening in the digital realm, texting has become an integral part of relationships. Does this mean that AI algorithms, trained on enormous amounts of our data, could be better judges than our gut feelings when it comes to love?

The creators of the dating app Amori have taken the role of modern fortune tellers or relationship counselors. They’ve made a web application based on a Chat-GPT algorithm that can analyze WhatsApp or iMessage messages with your significant other to draw conclusions as to why it never worked out.

I decided to try it out and see what the algorithm had to say about relationships. As long as the only relationship data I handle is my own disastrous love life, I had to put it on the table for this experiment. Let’s find out what happened.

Upload ALL of your chat history if you dare

What about my private data? That was my first thought when I navigated to textsfrommyex.com. Apparently, working with cybersecurity has left a mark on me as a person. But hey, this is quite an abundance of sensitive data we’re talking about, so it’s better be cautious.

So, rather than immediately uploading all of my saucy chat to the website, I decided to read the ever-boring privacy policy. The website’s policy clarifies that the messages aren’t stored on the company’s servers – they’re sent straight to OpenAI via an API for analysis. However, Amori does store your results in its database. Most likely, indefinitely, but you can share it with your friends. Win-win.

To trust or not to trust. That’s the question, but getting “some extra sassy relationship insights and a compatibility score” might be worth the risk. The website asked me to upload a file with my chat history exported from the messaging app. At least, it’s just a text file with a limited amount of data being shared. It’s not some kind of plugin or app that could potentially scrape a lot more than just texts from my ex.

However, this is just the initial phase, as Amori is creating an app that could additionally read your conversations on Instagram and other messaging apps. This means more possibilities to analyze the communication with your flings, but also many more questions about privacy that will need to be answered.

After uploading a text file exported from my WhatsApp, I was asked to submit my phone number to receive an SMS with the link to my analysis. Once again, the privacy policy outlines that they need a phone number “to uniquely identify you and associate your analysis results with your account.”

That’s weird. No one asks me to create an account or sign up to the mailing list. I just need to share a phone number. I think twice about associating my kinky messages with my phone number, but curiosity wins. Well, honestly, more the commitment to write this article than curiosity, but still.

The upload finishes and I get this window. Oh, that’s a bit cruel. What if I already know the answer? Or I’m still hurting? Or even worse, we haven’t even broken up yet? Or maybe I was the one who left him? Okay, anyway, let's wait for those enlightening results.

Oh, no… we were almost perfect

Here it goes, I finally get to see my results and the compatibility score. Boom, it’s 75%. With such results, why did we break up in the first place?

The analysis gives me a score from 1 to 10 in six different categories, covering attachment styles, communication clarity, sexiness, main challenges, cute moments, and the final verdict on why it didn’t work.

From the beginning, AI correctly grasped the nationality or at least the location of the significant other: “We are about to delve into this all the way from New York City to [country], exploring the complicated dynamics of [name] and Paulina's charming international romance.”

The chat was a bit of a mixture of multiple languages, and the English language used lacked the correct grammar and structure most of the time, but ChatGPT navigated it quite well.

“Your cross-timezone flirting and tender reassurances are noteworthy. Also, bonus points for multi-language communication,” reads the analysis. So, the algorithm definitely understood the multilingual nature of the chat. Thanks for appreciating me for handling all the languages.

“Your cute little exchanges and reminiscing on past times together are the highlights of your relationship that really stood out to me,” the AI gets personal when describing the highlights of my relationship.

While it noticed all the check-ins on each other, the algorithm completely missed the serious problem of cultural differences and religions, as confrontations discussing the proper outfit or the dilemma of eating pork were visible in the chat.

The sexiness of my love life got a sad 6. “For a long-distance relationship, you two seem to maintain a decent level of sauciness. The creative use of emoticons and playful language keeps the spark alive,” says AI after evaluating many emojis the guy sent. Nice try, but the guy was talking about chilling at his mom’s place.

If that’s the only thing that AI pulled out from the chat, it is definitely, wrong. Somehow, all the sexting went unnoticed by its all-seeing eye.

AI got it right, obviously

Finally, the most important question of the evening – what was the deal breaker?

AI said it was LONG DISTANCE, and it got it right. “The time difference and distance can create misunderstandings and missed calls/sentiments which can strain the relationship,” explains AI what was the 'lowlight' of my relationship, “The uncertainty of when they can meet again can take a toll on the relationship.”

Impressive, a round of applause. Still, getting that right was pretty obvious, as the problem of distance was directly written in some of the last messages.

“There you go! Your global romantic saga has been dissected, examined, and served with a generous dollop of humor,” brags the AI.

“May all your time-zone calculations be accurate!” it wishes me at the end. Thank you, I really need it, because I just miscalculated time zones while arranging an interview with the creators of this application.

AI or a psychic?

So that’s one relationship mystery solved. What about trying to analyze another fling?

The next compatibility score was not as impressive. I picked up a more dramatic chat, and AI caught quite well the essence of fighting and passive-aggressive tones in the arguments.

“[name] spirals out on the self-depreciation highway with his clown shoes on. And Paulina? Seems she sits back with her popcorn container, barely reacting,” writes the AI, “Ah, the joys of convoluted, passive-aggressive relationship dynamics! RAS strikes again, dropping truth bombs as we navigate the twists and turns of this colorful chat history masterpiece.” I really give 10 points for the style of AI’s language in this one. Top-class creativity.

What’s my final verdict? To be honest, I haven’t learned anything new about my relationships. It didn’t provide any thought-provoking psychological analysis that you could expect from idealized “super-intelligence.” But it was fun to read.

So far, AI doesn’t have the capability to learn more about relationships than humans don’t know themselves. AI's take on relationships is probably similar to the practices of psychics and fortune tellers, who frequently reiterate information already known for the person who just seeks some kind of external confirmation.

P.S. To all the protagonists in these chats – your words were used for purely experimental purposes to test the capabilities of the technology. So, no hard feelings, guys!