Idiots of the Internet: the “Clown of the Week” award goes to…
The clowns are back in town, ICE agents can’t skate, and a Florida politician has more on his plate than a beef with OnlyFans models.
Welcome to “Idiots of the Internet.”
I wanted to start by sharing one of my favorite quotes about stupidity, which comes from British comedian Ricky Gervais.
“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It’s only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.”
Comedian and National Treasure, Ricky Gervais.
This, in my opinion, perfectly sums up stupidity, as stupid people, in other words, idiots, don’t know they’re idiots, even when it seems blatantly obvious.
The internet is the same, as it's an excellent vehicle for highlighting the brain-rotting absurdity of the human condition.
That’s why I wanted to create a weekly round-up of the weird, wonderful, and sometimes scary condition that is idiocy.
As someone who is afflicted by said condition, I thought it important to raise awareness.
Sincerely,
Your Supreme Idiot
Elon Musk – do I need to say more?
The world’s richest man has shown his true colours this week after his AI chatbot Grok got into trouble for generating deepfake pornography.
Grok, developed by Musk’s company xAI, has been caught fulfilling users' requests to undress women and girls on the tech CEO’s platform, X (formerly Twitter).
This caused a worldwide revolt against Grok, Musk, and X, with women and governments everywhere campaigning against the tech.
Women on X began writing messages saying, “Hey Grok, I do not authorize you” to edit any of my images.
While Grok was still undressing women the week before, Musk has finally given in and will no longer allow users to edit images of real people “in territories where it’s illegal.”
However, he’s still trying to prove that Grok isn’t as bad as people say it is by asking users to “break Grok image moderation,” and then blaming users for generating these images.
“I not aware of any naked underage images generated by Grok,” the billionaire tech CEO said verbatim, “Literally zero.”
“Obviously, Grok does not spontaneously generate images, it does so only according to user requests,” Musk says as he seemingly puts the blame squarely on users for the deepfake pornography scandal.
The conversation on this topic is live. Join in the discussion.
Instead of taking responsibility for Grok, its apparent lack of guardrails, and its ability to create what some government officials have deemed “abhorrent” images of women, Musk proceeds to blame users and imaginary hackers.
“There may be times when adversarial hacking of Grok prompts does something unexpected. If that happens, we fix the bug immediately,” Musk posits.
In other absurd news, Musk said this week that he is filing for full custody of one of his million kids due to fears that the child’s mother may put the one-year-old through a gender transition.
Even the CEO of budget airline Ryanair, Michael O’Leary, said he “would pay no attention to Elon Musk” because “he’s an idiot.”
This is for you, Musk, congrats, you earned it.
Radio silence from Silicon Valley tech CEOs
Monkey, see, monkey do…nothing.
Prominent tech CEOs seem to have been “monkeying around” this week, conveniently turning a blind eye to an open petition calling on them to take a stand against ICE.
As employees of major tech companies are attempting to “slowly, slowly, catchy monkey,” these banana-eating bafoons have little time to listen to the chatter of other primates.
Silicon Valley’s top leaders from companies like Meta, Google, Amazon, OpenAI, TikTok, Spotify, Salesforce, LinkedIn, and Rippling have caught a nasty case of selective hearing.
Since Trump entered the White House for his second term (don’t worry, we’ll come to Trump next week), tech executives in Silicon Valley have made an extra effort to cozy up to the administration.
Unfortunately, these close-knit relationships mean that employees' cries for change have fallen on deaf ears.
Despite more than 150 tech workers signing an open petition that urges their company executives to take a stand against Trump’s aggressive immigration policies and to withdraw ICE agents from US cities, CEOs have not only gone deaf but also mute.
The rules are pretty simple for even idiot CEOs to follow:
- Call the White House and DEMAND that ICE leave our cities
- Cancel all company contracts with ICE
- Speak out publicly against ICE’s violence
However, it appears that an amicable relationship with the orange maniac in the White House is more valuable than the lives of mothers, daughters, and women like Renee Good, who was shot dead by an ICE agent in Minneapolis.
Orange Man Bad, and so are tech CEOs.
Boo!
ICE, ice, ouchie
Clowns, the lot of them.
ICE agents might present this sense of bravado with the weight of the Department of Homeland Security behind them. Nothing could ever make an ICE agent look weak, right?
Well, except for ice itself.
And I don’t mean the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, I mean literal frozen water.
Viral videos spread across social media showing an ICE agent running as if he had the full weight of the American people on his shoulders.
Instead of making contact with an illegal alien, he makes friends with the floor after slipping on a frozen patch of sidewalk.
The video shows a crowd in Minnesota jeering at the ICE agent, screaming at him to “go home.”
- Frozen sidewalk – 1
- ICE agent – 0
MAGA missionary proposes “Sin Tax,” OnlyFans models cry
As the kids would say, that's "incel" behaviour.
Porn legend Johnny Sins might be in jeopardy after the Republican political candidate for Florida and mega douche, James Fishback, proposed the “Sin Tax,” a new rule that would tax OnlyFans models by 50%.
“As Florida Governor, I will not allow a generation of smart and capable young women to sell their bodies online,” Fishback said on NXR.
While I personally LOVE men who tell other women what to do with their bodies – *obvious sarcasm* – many others don’t agree.
OnlyFans star Sophie Rain, who is arguably the most profitable “bop” on the platform, has clapped back, saying:
“Never in my whole life did I think I would wake up and see a Florida politician trying to start beef with me for clout.”
OnlyFans model, Sophie Rain.
While that sentence did make my eyes bleed, I do agree that Fishback is essentially displaying his idiocy by engaging directly with a 21-year-old OnlyFans model.
Well, now that I think about it, this might be second nature to Fishback, as the Florida politician’s grooming allegations go back as far as 2022, when he was accused of having a relationship with a minor female student.
Florida’s largest school district even cut ties with Fishback in 2022 following allegations that he had an “inappropriate relationship with a student” who was “a minor at the time,” according to NBC News.
Perhaps Fishback should stop robbing the cradle and start fixing “toxic masculinity,” which he cries about during this interview.
Chugged her way to the top, now she’s Employee of the Month
To end on a positive, lighthearted note, I want to introduce you to one of the main idiots of the week.
ME.
This post had me wondering, “Am I the idiot?” as for a second, I was fooled by this fake gas station’s excellent social media marketing tactics.
The social media team from Celina 52 Truck Stop, a fake truck stop not located in Texas, posted its employee of the month on X.
“Cashier Belinda is our Employee of the Month after stopping a potential disaster after our soda dispenser malfunctioned and sprayed Coke everywhere. Her instincts kicked in and prevented the soda from flooding our floor.”
The fake truck stop claimed that Belinda consumed roughly four gallons of Coca-Cola until repairs were completed.
“Belinda’s selflessness will never be forgotten.”
The comments showed that the internet is filled with idiot sandwiches, with people commenting on stupid things, while looking at stupid things.
“A big bucket could have done the trick rather than Belinda consuming 50,000 calories lol,” said one X user.
“The bucket was busy,” replied a TJ specialist.”
“Wtf?! So her first thought was, “Let me go drink all this shit up?” She deserves to work there if this was the best she could come up with,” replied one very concerned X user.
One person even asked Grok if “that is even healthy.”
While I said this was ending on a positive note, I’m deeply concerned for us as a society.
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